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Decisions...

Why in heck do they have to be so complicated... I know that my Journal has been filled with some sad stuff lately.. And i am more than sorry about that. But there has been so much going on lately... I guess thatapos;s why i needed to start this Live Jounal thing.. Itapos;s just a place to go for me i guess.. Some kind of therapy... And thank you so much for reading and replying.. Itapos;s nice to know that iapos;m heard.

Still pondering about Moving back home.

I fear that my daughter thinks iapos;m a looser because i made so many promisses to her.
I told her that things would be different... And that she would absolutely LOVE this place.. I loved this place when i was a teen So much was happenning in this town... All the teens would hang out on the beach... And summers here are just way longer as in Montreal. Once we got here, i found out that the beach was pretty much "no mans land"... That things are just not quite as they were.
The town has changed... And that really dissapointed my daughter...and i� :(

She goes to a french school that is about an hour away... So thatapos;s a 2 hour bus ride every day for her She siad she doesnapos;t mind.. But the sad thing is that �she has no frinds in the town we live... They all live right by the school where she goes And there are no city busses that can take her there. She was totally independant back home.. And just hoped on one bus to the other to get where she needed to go...
yeah.. We can drive her and stuff.. But you know how it is.. We canapos;t always

Now my husband is realizing that he wantapos;s to go back home because he wantapos;s to make it work with his music.. He sings french... Some english but all his compositions are french.. And there is no way in heck that he can make it in french here

My reason for moving out here was for my sisters and mum... I missed them so much and just wanted to reconnect... My baby sister has 2 little ones also and i just wanted to be there for them. To watch them grow

Iapos;m looking for a day job right now... Just to help make ends meet...
Oh... My husband just walked into the room while i am writing this.. And he just re comfirmed to me that he wantapos;s to leave... With a very angree face.... And determined lol.�

Well.. I donapos;t know how it will get done... But it sure will.

By the way... I wnat to thank RE. For reading and commenting... Also Jean.. You are always there for me :) Thank you to both of you
If there are others that are reading.... Please reply also... Just so i know you are there.. Itapos;s less lonely when there are others around
You can also open your own account here too You dontapos; have to write jounals if you donapos;t want... Or maybe you do want? but by openning an accounthere at least when i get your reply... It wonapos;t be written "Anonymous" .



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Ooh. Look at this. The ban on LiveJournal has been taken off of my journal. Imagine that.

[Insert Creative Image Here]
thereapos;s a part of me thatapos;s gonna be in love with you
for the rest of my life.
-- Dawsonapos;s Creek

�

Spite is a beautiful thing.

Hey Marty, you should start hanging out this bar that just opened. Itapos;s for people like *you*.

December 2 is approaching way too quickly. Diana, have you even had a baby shower yet?

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I just thought iapos;d share: Iapos;m watching Son of Rambow for atleast the eighth time in maybe four weeks. Lol, iapos;m so addicted to this movie.

Iapos;m trying to write some fanfiction as well. Iapos;m going to try very hard to make atleast�some of�it gen (as opposed to het or slash) but i donapos;t know if iapos;ll succeed in that. Lee and Will are just. So. Slashable. And one day someone else�will ship this pairing besides me

oh how i wish this movie was extremely popular.
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Yesterdayapos;s and todayapos;s wedding, and not wedding, accomplishments:

Met with the pastor and got the definite okay
Bought invitations
Bought Jonnyapos;s birthday present


I�didnapos;t find shoes or the ... Ah ... Necessary undergarment necessary for my dress fitting this Friday. But whatever.

Mom bought me a rainbow cookie at the Starbuckapos;s in Target.

I�love rainbow cookies. They are large and sweet and delicious cookies, and sometimes when I�was working in Baltimore I�would buy a rainbow cookie and a coffee and that is what I�would eat for lunch. A pathetic lunch, but soooo so tasty.

It was nice visiting with Mom and Dad last evening and this morning. I�wasnapos;t ready to leave because it was such a pleasant time.

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�Guess what, I rock�the planograms at Target. I make those "Camp Rock" displays look so good, I make myself jealous.

It has been a while. My computer took a big stinky poo. With three jobs its hard to find spare time to find a computer unless itapos;s time to pay the bills. Well nothing new is happening, other than I think my sanity is a bit in question.

������������������������������������������� Love always,
���������������������������������������������� Joan
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Fell into the depths of a broken heart again. Iapos;ll die alone...I get lost in your eyes and I canapos;t help but feel like Iapos;ll never find love there again.



The assembly this morning almost made me vomit, literally. All those videos, all the dead bodies, the blood, etc etc, I couldnapos;t watch that shit. Seriously. I think we get the point, but it doesnapos;t matter, nobody will really listen until their best friend or mother or father dies from the same cause. Stoked but not stoked on graduation, now. Brittany and I just sat there planning our graduation shit, like my birthday party, prom, and graduation. End of this school year. So many things to do, GPA to pull up, college applications, all that junk. Ugh.
So we went out on the football field to take our senior class photo. And we were in the shape of 09, how typical, haha. Shorter classes rule so hard, but no time to sleep Ugh.
After school Zach came and picked me up, we dyed his hair, watched a movie, talked. It was so much fun and I like that he makes me happy. Heapos;s saying how much he likes me and how he wants to date but itapos;s so soon. I think him waiting a week or two wonapos;t hurt. At least I hope it wonapos;t.

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If you feel like going backward in time through my livejournal enteries I am likely dead or famous, or you are me, or you are in love with me or some combination of the previous possibilities. If any of these conditions apply I would like to mention that one hundred and thirty pages of the novel I have been talking about is in front of me. It is not done. I am 21 years old. I have graduated college, but I am still in the Pitt library because it is open late. I am a little drunk but drinking coffee so that I might be able to work on my book. I have a website. It is no longer fireeyeball.com now it is cyberpunkapocalyse.com a little less catchy but fuck it all.
My sister has moved in with me in my tiny apartment, and I have a lovely young lady with food stamps that provides for me during this economic crisis.
Life is life is life, and mine lingers on. I speak and speak and speak into the void, but this is a voice unk--

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